SPN: A Valentines Day Memory

(A Dastiel fic)

Sam wanted it to be a quiet night alone, but the banging and loud giggles next door made the night even worse for him.
"Don't touch me there!" the muffled voice of a young girl could be heard from Sam as he sat in the uncomfortable motel chair in his room.
He rolled his eyes and went back to his computer. Leaning on his hand he clicked open solitaire, his finger moving the virtual cards without even truly thinking about it.  
He won in less than three minutes. Sam looked at the clock, not even an hour went by since Dean left. He sighed and leaned back in his chair, "Maybe I'll take a nap," he thought to himself, bored out of his mind.
So he got up from his spot and was going to kick off his shoes, and take a nice nap. But a pair of ice blue eyes stopped him in his tracks.
"Cas!" Sam was startled, "What are you doing?"
"Where's Dean?" Castiel asked with worried eyes.
"You don't know?" Sam said in a sarcastic tone with a amused smile, "Cas, its valentine's day."
"So?" Cas tilted his head in confusion. He didn't know what it meant, the only thing he knew about Valentine's Day was that loved ones share it together.  
Sam could see that Cas had no idea.
"Sorry to burst your bubble Cas, but Dean went to the strip club."
A strong pain traveled through Cas that could even be felt by Sam, but Castiel didn't know the meaning of it, so he shrugged it off.
"You okay?" Sam asked after shivering a little, confused himself on the strange, sudden emotion that went flying through the room.
"I'm fine," Castiel said calmly.
"You sure?" Sam asked. There might not have been a physical presence to Castiel's emotions but they could sure be seen by the door his angelic blue eyes made.
"Well, don't get into any trouble alright, Cas?" Sam told him, acting like a father, but really, he was just worried for his friend.
Sam could always feel a presence when Cas was around Dean, and Dean around Cas. For the longest time he couldn't tell why Cas always gave Dean longer, soulful looks and when Dean met his eyes, Cas would always look away. Sam could even almost feel Castiel's heart beat faster when he was close to Dean.
On the other hand, Dean always had fun with Cas. He laughed at Castiel's confused looks, his odd questions and longing stares for answers. Sam could tell that Dean always felt happy and safe around Cas, though he would never, ever, ever, ever admit it.
So Sam could defiantly tell the spark between the two. Heck they're total opposites! And Sam didn't know why, but he approved of them. He would rather have Dean be with an angel that they knew and trusted than some random girl off the strip that could very well be a demon in disguise.
After snapping out of his own thoughts, Sam looked back to Castiel, who was deep into his mind, staring blankly at one of the beds that actually, happened to be Dean's.
"Cas," Sam said, getting Castiel's attention, "You can always wait for him here."
Cas stared at Sam for a moment, noticing his bored look and tired eyes he refused. "No, I'll just come back."  
"Cas, wait!" Sam called out but he was talking to thin air as Cas left in a flash. Sam let out a long sigh, he truly felt bad for Cas. He knew the feeling of Dean leaving in to a bar without him, or not coming back when he was told to, and well…. The list can go on and on!
Sam rubbed his neck as he took of his shoes, worried for both his brother and Castiel. But yet again, Sam always worries.  

………………………………………..
There was about a five hour interlude before Dean finally got back to the motel room. It was now one in the morning.
Dean didn't know Sam was asleep because he opened the door with force, which woke Sam up.
"You're back early," Sam said as he sat up, rubbing his eyes from the dull yellow light that the lamp gave off.
"Yeah well, the girls weren't that pretty," Dean said as he shrugged off his jacket and plopped down onto the other bed.
That was defiantly a lie.
"Dean." Sam gave Dean one of his looks.
"What?" Dean snapped back, giving Sam one of HIS looks.
Sam rolled his eyes, might as well get to the point.
"Cas was here," He said, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV as if Cas being here wasn't a big dean at all.
Dean was immediately interested.
"What did he want?"
Sam shrugged, "Nothing really." he smiled a tiny bit, enjoying the discomfort he was giving Dean.
"Sam, come on, Cas NEVER shows up without needing to tell us something." Dean was getting annoyed.
Sam decided that it was best to tell him, not to get him even madder, "He was looking for you," Sam said calmly.
"Why?" Dean was immediately worried, "What did he want?"
Sam was struck with confusion at Dean's expression, "Dude calm down, he just wanted YOU."
Dean's face then fell, Sam could see sadness stricken all over his face, and maybe even some guilt.
"Do you know where he went?" Dean asked.
"No, sorry…" Sam gave Dean a sympathetic look.
"I'll go look for him." Dean got up quickly and grabbed his jacket.
"Want me to go with you?" Sam asked. And the only reason he did so was to make Dean seem as if Sam had no idea what truly went on between Dean and Cas.
"No stay here." Dean quickly stepped out the door.
"Bye!" Sam chuckled and went back to the glowing screen of the TV.



Dean had a fast pace as he walked to the Impala. The night air was crisp but yet also slightly warm.  No music flowed through the car as Dean drove down the abandoned road. It was valentines night remember? No one would be out at this hour.  
Dean could have very well called Cas, but a strange feeling led him to the stubborn angel.  
Dean parked at a nearby playground, he got out and looked around until his eye locked on to a figure of a man sitting at one of the benches.
"Cas…" he whispered.
He started walking towards the man that made him feel warm when he was around, but Dean stopped suddenly.
"What if he's mad at me…" Dean thought to himself. Guilt started to flow through him, nagging at his heart and laughing at him.
Dean took a deep breath, "I can face anything." He encouraged himself and kept walking.
As he got closer to Cas he noticed a sort of aura glowing from Castiel's skin. Dean couldn't tell if it was from the moon light, or just the fact that Cas was an angel.
Dean's heart beat suddenly got stronger.
Bu bump, bu bump.
He could almost hear it.
He shrug it off and was finally in hearing range of Cas.
He was nervous, Dean never felt this nervous before.
"h-hey," he stammered and Cas looked up to him, almost in shock.
"Dean." Cas wasn't expecting him to be here. His blue eyes brightened suddenly from the sight of Dean.
Dean smiled, "You that excited to see me?"
"What?" Castiel tilted his head slightly, which made Dean's smile even bigger.
"Nothing, uh… What are you doing here?" asked Dean.
"Enjoying the luminescence of the night," He explained, looking back at the night sky that seemed to shine.  
Dean got the strength to sit next to Cas, and he could tell there was a slight tension between the two of them.  He sat to the right of Cas and he honestly didn't know what to say, but didn't have to for Cas spoke next.
"Why were you at that sinful place?" asked Castiel.
"Uh, well…" Dean scratched the back of his head, "I always go there for Valentine's day."
"But, why?" asked the curious angel, "I thought Valentine's Day was a day you spend with your loved one."
Dean's heart skipped a beat when Cas said those words and his face warmed to a blush. Thank God it was dark out. However the warm blush and fuzzy feeling Dean felt went away when he realized that Cas didn't know what he was truly talking about.
Dean sighed and looked away. He didn't even know why he felt this way anymore. He felt it was useless. Useless emotions for someone who probably doesn't even know what emotions feel like.
Cas could sense Dean's discomfort and sadness, "Dean, you seem disturbed."
"I'm fine," Dean said and looked up to the pale moon that gave off an angelic glow that only made him think of Cas.
"You're not." Castiel reached out and softly touched Dean's arm, right on the burn that his own hand had made when he pulled Dean up from the pits of Hell.
Dean froze, he didn't know what to do exactly, or even if he should move. All Cas wanted to do was comfort Dean, but he could tell Dean was feeling a bit uncomfortable so he took his hand away.
"Can you explain something to me?" he asked and Dean slowly turned to look at him.
"If today is a day about being with a loved one, why aren't you spending it with Sam?"
There was a pause before Dean burst out laughing.
Castiel's head tilted as he didn't get why Dean was laughing so hard, but slightly smiled as Dean was happy for a moment.
Tears started to line Dean's eyes as he tried to stop cracking up and he wiped them away as soon as he calmed down.
"No, Cas. Valentines Day is a day for LOVED ones to be together… as in, boyfriend girlfriend, husband and wife..."  
Cas didn't answer, he simply stared at Dean, and Dean stared back at him.
Dean found his eyes exploring Castiel's face. How soft it looked, how smooth his hair seemed, and how kissable his lips were to Dean.
Dean blinked, marveled at his own thoughts. But yet, they were so strong. How could he get Cas to understand how he felt?
"Cas," Dean said, getting his attention, "I want to tell you, I uh… Need to tell you that." Dean couldn't spit it out, he's never been in this situation before and he froze.
"Yes?" Cas said patiently. The deep calm sound that came from his voice was almost heavenly to Dean.
"I…wanted to spend today with you," Dean admitted, blushing abruptly, "I just didn't know…" Dean stopped and looked away. Admitting these things to anyone was hard, let alone someone you might actually love. But yet again, shouldn't it then be easy to show your emotions?  
After a long moment Dean looked back to Castiel, their eyes locking on to each other and not daring to let go.
"Screw it," Dean thought to himself, and before he or Cas knew it, Dean had smacked his lips onto Castiel's own soft, and innocent mouth.
There was a shock that flew through Castiel and he pushed on Dean's chest, making him part ways.
"What are you doing?" Castiel asked. His face filled with shock.
Dean then realized Castiel didn't want this, nor did he ever want it. It was just a dream for Dean, and he finally realized that loving an angel would never be right, or okay.
"Sorry," Dean quickly moved away, "I'll just… go." Dean got up from the bench, embarrassment written all over his face and rejection filling his heart.
Dean didn't look back at the angel as he walked away. "What the hell were you thinking you big idiot?" Dean thought to himself and it felt like ages before he reached the comfort of his car.
Dean drove away as fast as he could, trying to get away from the embarrassing moment that stayed at the park bench.
Working with Cas was never going to be the same now was it?
Dean took the long way back to the motel as he tried to piece himself together. He kept trying to shake the memory and the moment away but remembering the moment that his lips touched Castiel's was too much for him that the moment was imbedded into his brain.
After driving in circles for about an hour Dean finally got the courage enough to go back to Sam. There were no lights on in the motel room except the flashing of the white light the TV gave off. He tried not to wake Sam as he quietly opened the door and closed it without much noise. He succeeded in not waking Sam until he sat down on the creaky bed. He sighed as Sam rustled under the covers and got up,
"Dean?" he yawned.
"Yeah, Sammy?" Dean almost stammered but kept it together.
"Did you find Cas?" Sam asked, noticing Dean's hesitation.
"Yeah, but uh, he needed to do, other… stuff."
There was a pause, "look, just go back to bed I'm tired." Dean turned off the TV and lay back on the bed. Sam could definitely see his discomfort but he kept quiet for he didn't want to push Dean's buttons so he just laid back down, and was back to sleep in a matter of moments.
Dean's eyes however stayed open. The event that happened before was too much to bare for him to fall asleep and he was way to restless. He knew that he wouldn't fall asleep so he quietly got up from the bed and before Sam could wake up, he was out the door and back into the impala.
And out of ALL the places Dean could have gone too, something brought him back to the park. He then realized that his conscious brought him here to apologize to Cas and to explain to him what happened before. But the Angel wasn't at the bench this time. Dean looked around the park that was now slowly starting to get masked with an orange glow as the sun started to arise from east.
Dean leaned against the hood of the impala and looked up into the navy blue sky that was turning into a dull orange.
"Cas…" he said quietly, "If you can hear me…" Dean's head fell. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be." Castiel's voice rang through Dean's head. He didn't believe it was Cas until he slowly lifted his head and the soft stare of a forgiving angel was standing in front of him. "I've been thinking about a lot of things lately, Dean," Cas started to explain, "and one of them was the feelings that have been overwhelming me this past year when I'm around you."
Dean's hopes finally started to arise once again as he watched the perfection of Castiel's lips move as he talked and he just wanted to kiss them again. He was so transfixed that he wasn't listening to half what Castiel was saying.
"I'm sorry Dean."
the words snapped Dean out of his trance.
"For what?" Dean asked.  
"For chasing you away, I didn't know that you would get up and leave."
Dean now felt bad for 'running away' before. But the look that Castiel gave him just a few hours before seemed so strong…   
"Sorry…" Dean kept staring at the eyes that seemed to always transfix him but it made Cas nervous and he looked away.
"Did you come here just to apologize?" asked Dean.
"No I was actually… hoping that…" Cas looked away once more, blushing now actually and it made Dean smile. Dean could feel now that he was wrong before. That Cas was truly just shocked and not trying to stop Dean.
Dean reached out and grabbed onto Castiel's blue tie and carefully pulled him close. Dean suddenly regained his confidence back as the angel started to tremble under his hand. Dean licked his own lips before locking onto Castiel's. And this time, instead of rejecting Dean, Castiel pushed onto him, wanting more and more he got.
Dean kissed him once again and Castiel even kissed back this time.
Dean's tongue then started to explore the inside of Castiel's virgin mouth. It was warm, soft, and boy was it addicting. Dean didn't know when to stop, and lucky for him Cas didn't want him to stop. Their heartbeats both grew faster as each kiss grew more intense and Dean could tell that Cas's breathing was getting heavier.  
"What caused the change in mind?" asked Dean in between a kiss for Cas to catch a breath.
"I've learned to follow my instincts."  
Dean chuckled at the word of choice Cas used and kissed him once again.
"Dean." Castiel stopped him.
"Hmm?" Dean asked as he kissed his cheek.
"I don't know if I'm right but…I believe I –
"Shhh." Dean stopped him by putting a finger on his mouth. Dean truly hated the love dove, chick flick stuff. "Save that line for another time okay?"
Castiel nodded and Dean kissed him again.
"Happy Valentines day Cas," Dean whispered as he pulled Cas even closer to him, holding Castiel's hips so that he couldn't move back and Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck for more support.
They kissed on the hood of the impala as the sun started to rise from behind the trees, illuminating the scene that would last forever in their minds.